In thinking through some struggles with election, God’s justice, and God’s grace, Holy Spirit put it on my heart to write this.
People question God’s goodness when they see suffering. When some are saved and others aren’t. When God heals some and allows others to die. Growing up in the church I think there is an expectation of grace. A mentality that demands grace rather than humbly receives it. When you have an expectation, what you receive is no longer a gift, because you expected it. What people don’t realize about this world is the suffering humanity deserves is so much more. The weight of our sin is so much greater. The punishment could be so much worse.
Imagine if the punishment you deserved were 40 lashes and you got away with 10 lashes. You would be grateful for the kindness and mercy shown to you by the judge. Not complaining to him about the 10 you just received, and then demanding He only give 10 lashes to everyone else. Humanity is crying out to God at the injustice of 10 lashes when in reality, it’s a great mercy and kindness He has shown. When God truly forsakes this earth the suffering will be much worse.
This week God has revealed to me on a deeper level the depravity of my life when I was drinking. Yet He was with me the whole time. He saw it all. And He still loves me anyway. After all I’ve done, He still chooses me and says, “I want you Tesia. Come follow Me.”
If you’ve read “The Office of Offenses,” you’ll know what I mean when I say you have to read the file. You have to face the grievous and grotesque nature of what you’ve done, and what’s been done to you, to fully receive forgiveness. To understand His great mercy, love, and grace, you have to see how awful your sin really is and how desperately you need Him.
Ask God to reveal to you the weight of your own sin, so you can truly see the weight of His grace. I know from experience, once your eyes are open, all you can be is grateful. So so grateful for the grace you DO receive. And in awe of the glory He has in store for you. Truly and completely, it IS amazing grace.
Life Is Beauty-full 
Thank you Tesia for writing this, this is so true. I am so grateful for the mercy that God has given me. My sin is shameful and each day I am thankful he didn’t give me what I really deserve. Now that I am saved, I look at my struggles in life different, I see them as mercies from heaven. The best thing is, He is there every step with me. He has led me on a path of peace, and joy that I have never known before. I know I don’t deserve it and I never want to take this gift for granted. Thank you God for your mercies.
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a beautiful series of thoughts and how true they are…we often expect, expect from God and offer so little…I know I do not deserve His grace and mercy…I have sinned so often, but He keeps extending it….thank you Lord!
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