What once soothed, doesn’t soothe
What once healed, doesn’t heal
What once saved, doesn’t save
My heart is torn, broken and worn
I’m weary and weak
Satisfaction I seek
But I can’t find
Any comfort in my mind
The corners I once hid in
Are no longer there
Everything laid bare
I can’t bear the weight of being seen
The exposure as I grow
I’m so fresh and still green
I don’t know how to cope
How to handle the eyes on me in the light
In my fright
My heart craves darkness
In the shadows I am covered
But even the darkness is as light to You
And I am uncovered
I’m suffocating inside
Constricted by control
My soul, oh my soul
How it longs to be free
To be able to be me
I am still not okay
Just being who I am
Who I am still feels wrong
I’ve been wrong for so long
Cover me up
I’m too shameful to be seen
There’s nothing good here
Walk away and leave me be
Before you discover
What so many others have before
I’m wretched, I’m broken, worthless and poor
“Just a whore, nothing more”
That’s what the voice says
The voice of The Liar
Who tried to conspire
My destruction and ruin
Through self-loathing, self-hatred, and self-condemnation
The devil tried to bring about self-destruction to this vessel
Tried to get me to settle
For less than the best
“Seek first My kingdom and I’ll give you the rest”
Why can’t I trust it?
Good Father? Yeah right
How can I believe that when there are none in sight
“It is by grace you have been saved, through faith in My Son
Believe what I say,
Not what others have done”
So I’m faced with a choice
Fact or facade?
Do believe what I feel, or trust the Word of God?
How simple it seems to just run and hide
But that’s not the life
For which Jesus died
He died to redeem
Bought me back at great price
To heal and restore
What was stolen before
My head knows the truth
My heart learning to believe it
A love story so great, it’s hard to conceive it
Jesus loves me
For me He gave His life
God draws me in close
And says, “Daughter I love you so
You’re wanted, you’re valuable
Stop trying to hide
I’ve washed you clean in My blood
I’ve made you My bride
Daughter You’re Mine
I’ve summoned you, redeemed you
Called you by name
There is no more shame
My pride and My joy
In you I delight
Tesia, my dear
Let’s get rid of the fear
That’s crippling and keeping you away from My Light
Give the fear to Me
And I’ll set you free
It’s nothing you do
Can’t earn or work for it
So stop trying to be
Something for Me
That I never intended or created in you
Stop trying to do
And let Me transform
From the inside out
As you conform
To My will and My way
You will be free
And rejoice in this day
You will be made new
Through My Spirit in you
So just yield and let go
Trust that I’ll give you
A field of flowers as you grow
Your heart, it is Mine
You have given Me your life
Rest assured My dear daughter
That you I will water
I don’t love you and leave you
I hold you and keep you
Wrapped up tight in My embrace
There’s no trial you can’t face
I am a good Father, Abba, and friend
Faithfully with you, to the very end.”
So here I am
Left with a decision to make
Jesus, I trust You
All of me please take
Into Your care to change and make whole
For it profits me nothing, to gain the world and lose my soul.
I give You control
Control of it all
My heart it is Yours
I want to stop lying
To myself about me
And stop all the dying
Bring me back to life
Set me free from my strife
Put a new heart in me
A willing spirit to sustain
In You I am found
Set me on solid ground
To grow in Your grace
And behold Your face
To gaze on the beauty of the Lord all my days
All my days, all my days, all my days
I desire
Set me ablaze
With Your holy fire
Life Is Beauty-full 