Healing Is A Journey… And You Must Walk Through The Valley Of The Shadow Of Death

“In the beginning, you must choose that when you are in the middle, you will see the end.”

When I first came to Christ, I heard someone talking about being in the middle. More specifically, the middle of healing. Since I was at the very, very beginning of my walk with the Lord, I had no idea what this meant. She explained that it was like being in a forest. It looks the same all around; there is no evidence of the end, nor any sight of the beginning. It is a tough place to be, and everything feels hard. Another person shared that healing is hard and painful, and there’s all these levels, but at each level, no matter the pain, the Lord gives you peace in the midst of it. And even someone else explained that healing is like an onion—it has multiple layers. At one point I had peeled back so many layers, I thought I must have multiple onions.

When I was 2 years into my walk with the Lord, I had already gone through much healing—counseling, therapy, sobriety programs. Because I was much more healed than when I first came to Christ, I thought I was pretty much done with the brokenness stuff. God showed me that we had just begun. There was much more healing to be had—and there still is. More onions. (Which do make you cry).

“In the beginning, you must choose that when you are in the middle, you will see the end.”

When I heard this quote, I was reminded of the forest analogy. Before I go into deeper healing, I must choose that when it’s hard, and when I’m in the middle, I will persevere. I will cling to hope and the promised land of healing. I will cling to the promised freedom in Christ on the other side.

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.” –Psalm 23:4

Healing is a journey, and you must walk through the valley of the shadow of death to get to the promised land. But Jesus is with you the whole time. He is the Good Shepherd who always leads and guides you. He never leads you anywhere that is not for your good and His glory. I used to say:

My pain
Your purpose
My good
Your glory

You must go through the valley of the shadow of death because things need to die. Our old nature, and sinful ways of dealing with our pain and wounding through fear and self-protection need to die off. Self-sufficiency, independence, and our childhood survival skills, which are now self-defeating and self-destructive, must die off. It’s choosing to no longer deny the truth, but rather face the truth and deal with it God’s way, instead of on your own.

Healing is hard, and it’s not for the faint of heart. When you get healing, you are confronted with the truth. The truth about your sins, and the sins of others. The pain they caused you, and the pain you caused yourself and others. You’re confronted with choices: to forgive and to ask to receive forgiveness. There’s a lot of pain involved with healing. You would think it’s the opposite, healing is supposed to bring relief from the pain. But think about a heart surgeon. They inflict a lot of pain by cutting open the patient’s chest, in order to save their life. The same is true with God. He is the Great Physician. He must do what we think is painful, in order to save our lives.

Imagine if the patient getting heart surgery told the doctor they were doing it wrong, or that it hurts too much, so they begin swatting the doctor’s hands away. The doctor would never be able to do the necessary lifesaving work they needed to. And yet, that is the very thing we do with God. We tell Him no, and swat His hand away when He is seeking to heal us. You may say that’s why the patient is unconscious when going into heart surgery. With God, things are different. He won’t do anything against our free will and wants our total cooperation. He asks us to trust Him in the midst of the pain and believe that through the process, He is refining us and making us more like Christ.

I myself did not want to go through this very real pain when God was calling me into deeper healing. I said, “God, can’t I just give You my broken, bruised, and bloodied heart and You give me a new one in return?” He said, “But then you would miss out on the intimacy with Me as I removed each thorn, and bullet, and heal your broken heart.” This specifically meant so much to me because a few months earlier I had prayed, “Solomon asked for wisdom and ended in folly. I want intimacy with You, Jesus. If all wisdom and knowledge is hidden in Christ, then if I have intimacy with You, I will be wise.” I wanted intimacy more than I wanted to avoid pain. I also wanted to be submitted to God, and for Him to have His way in my life. Pain hurts, but healing is better.

It’s kind of like a wound that has become infected. If you don’t clean it out, it will fester. It smells. It hurts to clean it out. But it’s better than having your limb amputated because it was left alone. Often we say, “Just leave me alone.” But God loves you too much to leave you the way you are. He didn’t just come to save you, He came to heal you. Will you follow Jesus, and let Him?

For me, I had “swept everything under the rug.” There was a mountain in my living room and the trash hadn’t been taken out for years. My spiritual and emotional condition was pretty dilapidated and in need of much work. And just like renovating and cleaning out a neglected and rundown house takes a lot of time, energy, and work, so does healing. If you really want it, it’s yours in Christ. But you can’t let anyone, or anything stop you. Submit yourself to God and He will do all the heavy lifting. He will supply the strength to do all the work, but you must be willing.

Healing is a journey, and you must be willing to go through every part of that journey. The only way to arrive at the destination is through the valley of the Shadow of Death. Will you embark on your healing today? Will you let the Good Shepherd lead you through places, and memories you stuffed deep down inside? I can promise you it’s worth it. God’s way is better than our way, always. I never regret trusting Jesus, I always regret doubting Him.

The choice is yours.

Healing awaits.