Yesterday I was frustrated. I was feeling empty of God, aware it was because I was full of self. Aware pride had crept in and I was back operating in works and not grace. I knew God is God and I am not, but in my heart I didn’t need God and I thought I deserved His blessings. My heart had swung from being the Prodigal Son to the Older Brother saying, “What about me? I’ve been laboring for You.” Aware of all this nonsense going on inside of me I said, “I need You to humble me God. Remind me who I am.” I was expecting a holy smack down putting me in my place. I know I needed it. Instead, He tenderly and loving said, “Daughter, have you forgotten your rescue?” My heart pierced by His tender touch, it all came flooding back. A rescue so beauty-full, so intimate, so intensely tangible tears started trickling down my face. “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.” -Ephesians 2:8-9
By grace alone through faith alone. Jesus, You saved a wretch like me. An alcoholic, sexually promiscuous, heart mangled, clinically depressed shell of a person and You said, “Tesia Grace, I love you and I give you My grace. I choose you. Come follow Me.” I don’t deserve Your grace anymore than anyone else.
I had forgotten my rescue from sin and myself. I had forgotten that I serve God because I love Him. It is from gratitude and love that my life is His. I had forgotten who I am and who He is. A good Father. A gracious Savior. My Jesus I love Him. I thank Him. I praise Him for never letting me wander too far off before drawing me back to Himself.
“He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him.” -Psalm 40:2-3